On March 26th 2008 I hit bottom. It seemed like everything around me was falling apart. I felt defeated and deflated. I felt so helpless and I didn't know how to get out of the crushing funk I was in. It is so hard to believe that I could feel this way and yet be aware of the blessings which are mine at the same time. Maybe this was my faith showing me nothing is ever has dismal as it seems. With both mental and physical anguish I approached the Lord in prayer or should I say initially in anger...why...why ..why me ...why us...why now?

After the anger abated I asked HOW...how can I get through this...how can I cope...how can I help those I love who are suffering...This was the right question to ask! Heavenly Father helped me by letting me know that I could make a difference by looking after myself. It was then that I recalled that saying "God grant me the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference". Most of the anguish was not of my doing nor could it me of my undoing. However I knew that over the time period since moving here I had gotten off track. This meaning Sonia lost her wellnes groove. In making the decision to move out east, I never anticipated that it would be my undoing and remaking.
I had lost my footing and my routine during the move. As well my identity.

I slowly and resistedly turned to eating to comfort this disconcerting time for myself. When I found the pounds piling up I fell into the trap of the Popeye solution. I was looking for that one thing that would take off the pounds that I didn't want. Out east we have SFL program...expensive...yep I signed up. Paid the big bucks -thinking this is it and of course because I am a frugal person this will work because I am paying the big bucks. Nope,it didn't work. Okay how about Weight Watchers, Tops, Low Carb.... Through all this my weight piled on and my self-esteem plummetted.

So on this day March 26 in despair it came very clearly to me that sugar was my enemy. That like David who decisively slew Goliath, I needed to slay my Goliath -Sugar. I then got on my knees and thanked God for clearly showing me the way. I covenanted with him that I would no longer partake of sugar bingeing. This action of deciding to be sugar free lifted a humongous mental weight off me. The initial days ahead tested me and had me on my knees often asking for strength to be true to my convenant. Slowly the addiction abated and now have no desire at all for sugar bingeing. What a blessing this has been.