Literally falling apart


This is me in 1995. The building behind me is a log cabin suffering from neglect. How ironic that I too in this picture am suffering from neglect. Daily renewal would of prevented this building from the fallen state that it is in. Like wise, daily renewal will keep me from falling apart and derailed from my healthy lifestyle.
I had been taught how important it was to look after our possessions by my parents. My mother was a very meticulous housekeeper. The nut doesn't fall from the tree. I enjoy an organized and attractive home. I look after our possessions because I value the work that bought them and I want them to last.
One day it occurred to me that I valued my possessions more than I valued my health. I pondered that even when I was morbidly obese, I cleaned the house every day. However in the same state I didn't have the energy to look after myself. How come?
I had to learn to value myself. In the beginning of my transformation way back in 1996, I knew that I had to value myself right now...at 300 pounds. How, could I do this when for years I berated myself for being so fat. That's all I thought about when I thought of myself. Fat equaled failure...that's all. I learnt about affirmations and created my own "I am a person of value regardless of what I weigh...I make a difference! I still keep this in my heart to this day. We are here by design and we are here to make a difference.