Recovering Sugarholic

I think of myself as a recovering sugarholic. Probably not in the dictionary but none the less this is my truth. I was driven to eat sugar based products in spite of the devastating effect on my body and the tormented emotional state that it caused. This is addiction. Like the alcoholic, drug addict, smoker etc... we are driven by our addiction. When we deny that we are addicted to a substance, we continue in our addiction. It is by opening up our eyes to the devastation that our additions have caused that we can begin to start the process of recovery. I can't count the days that I lost to my addiction because of the physical and mental torment it caused me. This is so sad...time is precious...life is precious

I remember a few years ago Oprah said "I finally got it" referring to that her lifestyle was fixed in a way that she was connected with. As a recovering sugar addict, I have come to know that you never get it!! That's because I am always in a state of recovery and daily renewal. I must keep in my mind that today I am keeping my addiction at bay.That's it TODAY only.

I have a good friend Armand a recovering alcoholic who shared this wise statement with me "One drink is too much and a thousand is never enough". I adapted this to my sugar addition "One bite is too much and a thousand is never enough".

Definition of an addict: addiction - an abnormally strong craving
addiction - (Roman law) a formal award by a magistrate of a thing or person to another person (as the award of a debtor to his creditor); a surrender to a master; "under Roman law addiction was the justification for slavery"

I was a slave to my addiction! Now I am Sugar Free and Loving It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Literally falling apart

This is me in 1995. The building behind me is a log cabin suffering from neglect. How ironic that I too in this picture am suffering from neglect. Daily renewal would of prevented this building from the fallen state that it is in. Like wise, daily renewal will keep me from falling apart and derailed from my healthy lifestyle.

I had been taught how important it was to look after our possessions by my parents. My mother was a very meticulous housekeeper. The nut doesn't fall from the tree. I enjoy an organized and attractive home. I look after our possessions because I value the work that bought them and I want them to last.

One day it occurred to me that I valued my possessions more than I valued my health. I pondered that even when I was morbidly obese, I cleaned the house every day. However in the same state I didn't have the energy to look after myself. How come?

I had to learn to value myself. In the beginning of my transformation way back in 1996, I knew that I had to value myself right now...at 300 pounds. How, could I do this when for years I berated myself for being so fat. That's all I thought about when I thought of myself. Fat equaled failure...that's all. I learnt about affirmations and created my own "I am a person of value regardless of what I weigh...I make a difference! I still keep this in my heart to this day. We are here by design and we are here to make a difference.